You Cannot Possibly Be That Arrogant Once Again You Have Underestimated Me
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Quotes from 'The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization'
The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization
Season 1, Episode ix - Aired March 17, 2008
When Sheldon and Leonard are asked to present their work at a physics briefing, Sheldon unilaterally decides not to. Leonard and Sheldon feud when Leonard decides to present their work alone in spite of Sheldon'southward objections. Penny's attempts at reconciling the pair but brand matters worse.
Quote from Penny
Leonard: Is this the stuff you desire me to endeavour on?
Penny: No this is the stuff I want you lot to throw out. Seriously, don't even requite information technology to charity. You lot won't be helping anyone.
Quote from Penny
Sheldon: Just the latest copy of Practical Particle Physics Quarterly.
Penny: Oh, yous know, that is so weird that yours came and mine didn't.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: You are not Isaac Newton.
Sheldon: No, no, that'southward truthful. Gravity would accept been apparent to me without the apple.
Quote from Howard
Howard: The monster truck is out of Austin, Texas, and the bluish Viper is being operated from suburban Tel Aviv.
Sheldon: Y'all may want to put on slacks.
Penny: What? Eww! Terminate it! No! Go out me alone.
Leonard:Who'south running the ruddy Corvette?
Howard: That would exist me!
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: Oh, geez, does this suit really wait that bad?
Sheldon: Forget your suit. Look at my artillery flailing. I'grand like a flamingo on Ritalin.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: Sheldon, why is this letter of the alphabet in the trash?
Sheldon: Well, there's e'er the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the alphabetic character, but Occam's Razor would suggest that someone threw information technology out.
Quote from Howard
Penny: Howard, would y'all like to explicate to me why your Facebook page has a picture of me sleeping on your shoulder captioned: "Me and My Girlfriend"?
Howard: Uh oh, hither comes "The Talk"!
*Penny tries to accident upwardly Howard's head.*
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Wait at me, look at me, I've got goosebumps.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: Are at that place whatever other honors that I've gotten that I don't know well-nigh? Did UPS drib off a Nobel Prize with my name on information technology?
Sheldon: Leonard, please don't accept this the incorrect way, but the day you win a Nobel Prize is the 24-hour interval I brainstorm my research on the drag co-efficient of tassles on flying carpets.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: You cannot blow up my caput with your brain.
Sheldon: Then I'll settle for an aneurysm.
Quote from Howard
Howard: Gentlemen, I am now about to transport a signal from this laptop through our local Internet service provider racing down fiber optic cable at the of lite to San Francisco bouncing off a satellite in geosynchronous orbit to Lisbon, Portugal, where the data packets will be handed off to submerged transatlantic cables terminating in Halifax, Nova Scotia and transferred across the continent via microwave relays back to our ISP and the external receiver attached to this...lamp.
Quote from Leonard
Penny: What is this?
Leonard: Oh, careful. That'south my original series Battlestar Galactica flight suit.
Penny: Oh, why didn't you wear information technology on Halloween?
Leonard: Because it'due south not a costume, it's a flight suit.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: Y'all cannot possibly be that big-headed.
Sheldon: You continue to underestimate me, my skillful man.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Y'all know, in the futurity, when we're disembodied brains in jars, nosotros're going to look dorsum on this equally viii hours well wasted.
Raj: I don't desire to exist in a jar. I want my brain in an android body. Viii anxiety tall and ripped.
Howard: I'k with you. I just have to make sure if I'1000 a synthetic human I'd still be Jewish. I promised my mother.
Raj: I suppose you could accept your android penis circumcised. But that'south something your Rabbi would have to discuss with the manufacturers.
Sheldon: Non to mention you lot'd have to power down on Saturdays.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: Okay, if I may drill downwards to the boulder of my question, why did you throw it out?
Sheldon: Considering I have no interest in standing in the Rose Room of the Pasadena Marriott in front of a group of judgmental strangers, who wouldn't recognize true genius if it were standing in front of them giving a speech. Which, if I were at that place, information technology would be.
Quote from Sheldon
Penny: So you and Leonard-
Sheldon: Oh dear God.
Penny: Footling misunderstanding, huh?
Sheldon: A lilliputian misunder- Galileo and the Pope had a little misunderstanding.
Quote from Penny
Penny: Is this your only necktie?
Leonard: Ah. Technically yes, but, if you'll detect, it's reversible. And so it works as two.
Penny: Oh, sweetie, I don't think information technology even works equally one.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: Okay, I'one thousand going ask you 1 more than time. We did the piece of work together, permit's present the newspaper together.
Sheldon: And I'm telling you for the last time, it'due south pandering, it'due south undignified, and seize with teeth me.
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: A joke. Okay. How about this, um, okay, uh there's this farmer, and he has these chickens, but they won't lay any eggs. So, he calls a physicist to help. The physicist then does some calculations, and he says, um, I have a solution, but it only works with spherical chickens in a vacuum.
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: Kandor was the Capital metropolis of the planet, Krypton. It was miniaturized by Brainiac before Krypton exploded and and then rescued past Superman.
Penny: Oh, prissy!
Leonard: Information technology's a lot libation when girls aren't looking at information technology.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Equally I have explained repeatedly, unlike yous, I don't need validation from bottom minds. No offense.
Leonard: Really, and then why did you come?
Sheldon: Considering I knew you'd screw this up.
Leonard: I didn't screw it up.
Sheldon: Oh, please. I admit, that spherical chicken joke, that was hilarious. But it was straight downhill from at that place.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Were you trying to impress Penny?
Leonard: No, no not at all. ... A little bit.
Sheldon: How'd that piece of work out for you?
Penny: (entering the apartment) Leonard, ready to go?
Sheldon: Libido 1, Truth 0.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: Alibi me, I designed the experiment that proved the hypothesis.
Sheldon: It doesn't need proving.
Leonard: Then the entire scientific community is merely supposed to have your word?
Sheldon: They're not supposed to, simply they should.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: Okay, let me put information technology this mode, I'm doing information technology.
Sheldon: Yous tin can't. I'm the lead writer.
Leonard: Oh, come on. The only reason yous're the lead author is considering nosotros went alphabetically.
Sheldon: I permit you remember we went alphabetically to spare you the humiliation of dealing with the fact that it was my idea. Not to put also fine a signal on information technology, only I was throwing you lot a bone. You're welcome.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: Sheldon, we accept to do this.
Sheldon: No we don't. We have to take in nourishment, miscarry waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep ourselves from dying. Everything else is optional.
Quote from Sheldon
Penny: Anyhow, I was talking to Leonard this morning and I recollect he feels really bad well-nigh it.
Sheldon: Huh.
Penny: Well, how exercise you feel?
Sheldon: I don't understand the question.
Penny: Well I'm only asking if information technology'south hard to be fighting with your all-time friend.
Sheldon: Oh. I hadn't thought most information technology like that. I wonder if I've been experiencing physiological manifestations of some sort of unconscious emotional turmoil.
Penny: Wait, what?
Sheldon: I couldn't poop this morning.
Quote from Howard
Howard: I don't know, Sheldon, those topical conferences on Bowes-Einstein condensates parties are legendary.
Leonard: Forget the parties.
Howard: Forget the parties!? What a nerd!
Quote from Howard
Sheldon: If I'm not taking credit for our work, then nobody is!
Leonard: So, y'all admit that information technology's our work!
Sheldon: No, one time once again I'm throwing you a bone. And once again, you are welcome.
Howard: Oh no he didn't!
Quote from Penny
Penny: Here, why don't you put these on while I find a shirt and sport-coat to match.
Leonard: Great, be right dorsum.
Penny: Well, where you going, just put them on.
Leonard: Here?
Penny: Oh, are you shy?
Leonard: No, I'yard not shy.
Penny: Don't worry, I won't look.
Leonard: I know y'all won't wait. Why would you lot look. In that location's cypher to run across. Well, not nothing...
Penny: Sweetie, put the pants on.
Leonard: Putting them on.
Quote from Penny
Penny: Alright, moving on. Oh, wow, a paisley shirt.
Leonard: Uh-huh, information technology goes with my corduroy suit.
Penny: If you mean it should stop upwards in the aforementioned identify and then, I agree.
Quote from Sheldon
Penny: You should just talk to him, I'g sure you guys tin work this out.
Sheldon: It'due south certainly preferable to my plan.
Penny: Which was?
Sheldon: A powerful laxative.
Quote from Leonard
Penny: And then, you know, isn't there maybe some style you and Sheldon could compromise on this whole presentation thing.
Leonard: No. No. Scientists do not compromise. Our minds are trained to synthesize facts and come to inarguable conclusions. Not to mention, Sheldon is batcrap crazy.
Quote from Howard
Raj: The simply thing missing from that insult was "yo momma."
Howard: I've got one. Hey, Leonard, your momma's enquiry methodology is and so flawed-
Leonard: Close upwardly, Howard.
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Source: https://the-big-bang-theory.com/quotes/episode/109/The-Cooper-Hofstadter-Polarization/
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